About My Husband

BY KHADEEJA SAYED MOHAMMED
 

Extract from Smaraka Grantham (Memorial Book) - 1976 Edition

If I have to write about my dear husband, it would cover an entire book. When my brother Dr C.K Kareem requested me to write a preface to the memorial book of my husband, I reminisced the event and the words of my late husband, which he said few years back

This event happened when we read a memorial article about Sri Changampuzha by his wife. I complained about the writing and said, "Why is this lady telling all these events ? The respect that people have for Sri Changampuzha would diminish after reading it". To this, he responded "You can also write similar articles about me after I am gone and society will require that from you". How prophetic those words were ? Behold, I am asked to write an article about my late husband.

But I do not have any words to explain my late husband. My heart beats in the memories that I spend with him. Those great memories have been giving me life, all these while. The life we spend together were a mere seventeen(17) years. But I have a great inner satisfaction that he gave me the best life any women can desire in this world. It should not be surprising to know that we never had any differences of opinion, in these seventeen years. He always considered life to be enjoyed and all his words were mingled with that essence of wit and humour, which he cultivated.

During our early days of our marriage, I always used to think about what would happen to our family life mixed with his social services. As he always focused on enjoying life, I never had to endure any difficulties or issues in our marital life. This is because when I came to know of my husband's social circles and his desires, I could easily relate to that and move ahead. If I have been able to do anything in my public life , it is solely due to the encouragement I received from him. His philosophy was to help anyone who needed it and If possible go to the maximum extent with a good heart.

He had a great disciplined life. He used to sleep before 10:00 PM (sometimes before 9:00 PM) and get up early, at 4:00 AM as a daily routine. Even if he was discussing something with his close friends, he would plainly tell them after 9:00 PM, that it's time for bed. His readings and writings all happened during the early morning hours. Sometimes, he would wake me up to help him in his writing passion. He used to tell me that his handwriting is not good and therefore he wanted me to write, while he dictated. I was also quite happy to help him in his work.

He was of the opinion that a wife should know the social circle and the interactions of her husband. We used to frequently share the interactions we have in our respective work places. Moreover he used to tell that the peace within the family and mutual respect is the basis of a strong family foundation.Our marital life was lived based on his vision of a sound family.

As you are aware that he had a large friend's circle. I therefore had great opportunities to know them and their families, in this short span of 17 years. If any of his friends were having difficulties and during our mutual discussion, if I happened to voice a different opinon about them , he would retort and tell me that "I have few good friends and that is my asset". He used to greatly love his friends. And these friends and their families became a great help for me, later in life.

He used to respect and loved entertaining guests. Every month, our expenses were not in line with our income. If I prepare a monthly budget, we never were able to contain our expenses accordingly. Everytime we agree to control our budget, but it never was an achieveable target. I tried my level best to control the expenses. But my husband never considered these constraints when it came to entertaining the guests. He used to say very often. "Give good education and food to the kids and the rest will fall in line. While we live, let us enjoy it. There is no point in accumulating money."

He was victorious in all facets of life.But he could not overcome death in his life. He was happy, till his very last day on this earth. Even during the last moment, his worry was always about me and my life after his passing away. I think, he did not understand the fact that he would die so soon. He left me with three little daughters. But I always believed that his spirit is always with me. That is the inspiration for my life. I pray that Allah give him eternal peace.